Seeking Christ Through Trials

I'm not a generally emotional person. When A Walk To Remember came out, everyone left the theater all swollen-eyed and bawling and I had no idea why. I guess I'm not a big crier, especially in movies that aren't even real. But tonight I cried...for a long time. Tonight I feel broken. I am not blogging about this because I want sympathy or to vent my frustrations, but because I think there's a lot of misconception about being a Christian.

It's not all roses.

Becoming a Christian doesn't switch a light in your head and heart that makes your life pain-free and sets you on the easy street. I actually think it's quite the opposite. Being a Christian takes a lot of hard work. It takes a lot of changing the way you look at things, react to things, talk about things, and so on. I think it gets easier as time goes on, but there are always going to be setbacks. 

When everything seems to be going right, I await the bomb that's about to go off because it's only a matter of time. I wish I could say that, in those times where bombs are dropping, I turn to Christ for peace and comfort. Unfortunately this isn't always the case. It's easier to tell someone else to do it than to actually practice it. Tonight's a great example. 

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."-Psalm 55:22 (NIV)

Lord, make me into a woman who seeks after you, desires your will for my life, and turns to you in times of trial. Make me real. Make my heart clean. Create in me a right spirit.

*After I posted this, I saw that my friend had posted quotes about brokenness on his blog. Check them out; they say it better than I ever could. :)